What is the key to successfully convey 'disagreement' without damaging the other party?
When you are having a conversation with a colleague, friend, or family member, you may sometimes be able to express an opinion that you disagree with. If the content is trivial, you can let it flow smoothly, but the content is very important, and there are times when you have to express your dissenting opinion to the other party. Communication expert Lisa Marshall explains the tips for expressing disagreements well without damaging the other person's feelings.
How to Tactfully Disagree with Someone
Marshall points out that the first thing to consider when disagreeing with someone is, 'Is it worth disagreeing with this opinion?' If you think about what happens if you go through silently and what happens as a result of opposition, and if you come to the conclusion that 'it is not worth the opposition so much', you can abandon the idea of counterargument. Marshall summarizes the key points in expressing one's opinion without damaging the other person's mood as much as possible when the conclusion is 'still should be opposed'.
◆ 1: Think positively about the other party
The person who conveys the dissenting opinion is the person who disagrees with you, but if you think that the other person is a bad person, the tone and voice will be harsh, and it tends to be a terrible atmosphere. Therefore, Marshall advises that positively thinking that your conversation partner is a good person will help you control your voice tone and words.
Also, even when the other party uses a rude tone, you can cool down by thinking that 'the other party may have a headache' or 'may have something wrong'. thing. By treating the other person without giving a bad impression, it is possible to express dissenting opinions with respect and sincerity.
◆ 2: Avoid direct denial
Avoiding direct denials and using indirect language and general theory when communicating content that disagrees with the other person's opinion also helps to convey the opinion without damaging the other person's opinion. Phrases such as 'It's an interesting opinion. Is that true?' 'Do you think it's possible for sure?' 'Really? Does it work?' Do not directly deny the other person's opinion. Can be reconsidered.
Other than saying 'it's a terrible idea' to the other person's opinion, instead of saying 'I don't know if it's a good idea' or 'I don't agree with you at all' I'm not sure I can do it, 'Marshall recommends avoiding direct denials.
◆ 3: Use as soft words as possible
Marshall argues that the wording should be as soft as possible, as there is no need to unnecessarily attack the other person when expressing dissent. Instead of saying 'you don't know anything', 'you probably don't fully explain your thoughts' 'can you explain why you think so?' You can reduce the damage to your opponent.
Also, as a useful tip to reduce damage to the other party, it is recommended to use 'I' and 'We' instead of using the word 'you'. Rather than pointing out to the other person, 'You need to complete this right now,' 'We want to complete this in the near future. How can we work towards it?' Let's emphasize the needs of many people.
◆ 4: Find common ground with the other party
Even when you disagree with someone, in most cases there are assumptions and grounds that you share with each other. Therefore, 'I agree with (the points shared by each other), but did you consider (new perspective)?' 'I understand (the views and commonalities agreed with each other) about this issue. I think about the other side of the problem. ”If you find something in common with each other and then start a conversation, it will be easier to convey your dissenting opinion to the other party.
◆ 5: Words that should not be said
Marshall also summarizes words that should not be said when expressing dissent. For example, many people may disagree with the words, 'I'm sorry, I don't agree with your opinion,' but you shouldn't apologize unnecessarily unless you hurt someone. 'Recognize and respect your opinion as it is valuable,' said Marshall.
The word 'but' is also a word that should not be used when expressing dissenting opinions. If you deny the follow-up and understanding of the other person, such as 'I see. But ...' and 'I agree to some extent, but ...', the other person will not feel good. Therefore, Marshall advised that you should be careful when using negative words such as 'but.'
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