How to make human relationships better by "sympathy"


Of course it is important to be technically superior to the success of projects and work, but the ability to "get along with people" is another important element. Succeeded as a programmer or musicianChad FowlerSaid, "I succeeded not because the skills of the programmer was excellent but because there was the ability to sympathize with others," he added to his blog, not only his work but also many other human relationships such as family and friends The importance of effective "empathy" and practical ways of practice are also made public.

Your most important skill: Empathy - Chad Fowler

Fowler originally tended to think that in-post syndrome, in other words, his achievement was not good, but luck was good, self-evaluation was low and introverted personality. I can talk with no problems in a group of two or three people, but when I discuss in a lot of people I get tired. Fowler says that this is because it treats others' feelings like their own feelings, trying to understand the feelings of those with whom they are together.

However, it is certain that the tired of "empathy" ability has brought work success. So, Mr. Fowler first cites the "reason why people should sympathize with others" as 11 items.

Why should people sympathize with others?

ByBhumika Bhatia

Fowler's "Reasons why people should empathize with people" are as follows.

01: If you sympathize, your opponent can contact the other party in a way that thinks "I want you to treat me like this"

02: I can understand the needs of people around me

03: I can understand what kind of impression my own actions and words impressed

04: Communication is possible in parts other than words that the other party says

05: I can better understand customer's needs on work

06: The number of joke is reduced in both work and private life

07: You can predict human behavior and reaction

08: I can see how I can motivate my opponent

09: It is also possible to convince a person with my own thoughts

10: By understanding multifaceted things, you can understand things more clearly

11: By understanding the fear and motivation of others, you will not grasp the negative aspects of your opponents more seriously than before

Mr. Fowler reminds me of sympathizing with others when I notice myself fighting with others, I calm down myself, trying to accept the situation rather than rebounding. By sympathizing with your opponent, you will be able to behave better as a leader or follower, and better than anything else.

◆ Practice method

Even if you know that it is important to sympathize with your opponent, you may not know how to sympathize with your opponent. To such a person, Fowler suggests four ways that can be practiced today.

1: Listen to the opponent's story


When talking, the more it is easy for heat to enter, the more the person tends to think about what he says before the opponent talks.

But what matters first is that "I recognize myself thinking what I say without listening." Then concentrate on the words of the other person, thinking "feelings" behind the words, let us think about the work and the life that made the idea embraced by that person.

While listening to the story, you can put in touch with each other like "Hee" "Oh yeah" "Really?", But if you want to say something to the other's remarks for at least 2 seconds Putting. Then, before telling your opinion, we ask questions that you can better understand your opponent's intentions.

2: Observe and think "Why?"

BySusanna A.

When waiting for a train or getting caught in a traffic jam, instead of reading articles using a mobile phone or watching Twitter, you can look at the people around you and see what they think and where Please try observing what kind of mood you are going to face. Are you irritated? Does it seem happy? Are you singing? Are you watching a cell phone? Are you living in the neighborhood or have you come from outside the city? Such. And if you seem to have had a good day, think about the reason.

3: Know your enemies

By· Tlc ∙

The word "enemy" is a bit exaggerated, for example, it is about a person who has divided opinions and is discussing at work and is a family who is fighting for reasons. No matter who the opponent is, people tend to think that they are wrong with each other and that they are right. Once conflicting, there is a tendency to oppose any opinion.

Even if you do not agree with yourself, the other party is not stupid or wrong. Please look at things from the other 's point of view. In the case of Mr. Fowler, the problem was that there were many differences in the underlying ideas, not the actual conflicts.

What is your opponent feeling and how do you reply to it? What makes you tense between themselves making it difficult to exchange opinions? Why does my action not calm the opponent but enlarge the fear of the opponent? What is the reason why someone in front of you is repelling to yourself? What is the nice opinion of the other party? Of the opinions that I have, what really is "good" regardless of the fight? Can you agree with the motivation of the other person, not the content? If so, is not "opponent" more important than conflict?

You should be able to solve the irritation and anxiety born in interpersonal relationship by exercising such thinking. You may think that it is "natural" but you can understand how exercising is effective by practicing.

4: Have a third-person perspective

ByDiana Kathrina Leomo

In fact, however, it is very difficult to think about things standing on the "enemy" side when confronted with someone.

Please try to become a "third-person perspective" to make things easier. For example, a friend, a family member, etc. who is around him should complain to himself, "That person was treated like this!" Leaking complaints and dissatisfaction is a natural act as a human being, close friends need to listen to their stories as they are kind.

When you leak complaints, you become your "listener" on the other hand. Considering things from a different angle from the opinions I had so far, I calm myself getting hot with discontent and complaints.

Although it is not "one debate", if you think of things as opposed to your own opinion, you will see the whole picture of things at the base of the dispute.

in Note, Posted by darkhorse_log