Jan 05, 2023 06:00:00

What are the 7 basic conversation skills for building good relationships?

Smooth communication allows conversations to proceed smoothly and lead to success. Mr.

Tynan , a writer living in the United States, explains the skills necessary to have a conversation with someone.

Conversation Skills Essentials – Tynan.com
https://tynan.com/letstalk/

◆ 1: Do not interrupt conversations
Unlike text-based conversations such as SNS, conversations in real life are best when both parties are interested and want to interact and share. It will show that it is, and it will dampen the willingness of the other party to share. As a result, Tynan says that those who are interrupted in the conversation feel that it is useless to try to convey all their thoughts, and as a result the conversation will not bounce.

◆ 2: Accept the other person and do not ask for it
If you say something funny and the other person doesn't laugh, you are expected to behave as if you weren't funny either.

It is important to accept whatever reaction the other person has and act as if it was the right thing to do, and whether the other person was unable to laugh or not, in any case trying to force the other person to laugh makes them feel uncomfortable. It's going to be.

◆3: Attract interest
You need to determine if the other person is interested in what you are talking about and adjust what you say according to their level of interest.

By telling your story briefly and omitting digressions and details, the other person can ask questions about the parts of the story that are interesting and understand that you are not boring them with uninteresting stories. I can do it. As a result, the conversation will be lively.

◆ 4: Ask a question
An ideal conversation requires listening carefully to what the other person is saying, asking questions, and leading the conversation so that it proceeds smoothly. As for the worst pattern of conversation, Mr. Tynan says, 'It is forced to speak as much as possible and listen to the other person before the conversation is interrupted.'

Asking questions not only allows you to ask about what interests you most, but it also demonstrates that you listened carefully and shows that you respect them. Also, you don't have to ask questions every time someone says something, but you are encouraged to ask questions that deepen the conversation.

◆ 5: If you change your mind, put it into words
It is said that people like to teach and persuade others. So when someone teaches me something or changes my mind, I say, 'You're right, I've never thought of that before,' It is important to use words such as 'There's a belief these days that changing your mind shows weakness, but in reality, only confident people can change their minds without damaging their image,' Tynan said. said.

◆ 6: Aggressively express opinions
It is also important to share and express your true thoughts with others. As a way to do that, I recommend actively exchanging opinions.

Tynan also introduces three methods. If you ask questions regularly, the whole conversation becomes superficial, and the other person doesn't think, 'This person doesn't seem to have their own opinion.' There are three options: agreeing with the other person based on their judgment, honestly denying the other person's opinion, and actively expressing a dissenting opinion. As a result, each other makes concessions, making the conversation even more attractive.

◆ 7: Benchmarking
Tynan offers three criteria to figure out how wrong your conversation is.

・Number of words in response
If the other person often answers with one word such as 'like', 'cool', 'ok', it is said that it does not attract the interest of the other party. As a reason, Mr. Tynan cites that he is talking too much or the topic is not interesting to the other party.

・Conversation time
If you know each other well, the conversation should be exactly 50/50, requiring you to either say more or ask questions to encourage the other person to say more.

・Depth of conversation
In conversations, you should get to know the other person more often, and the other person should get to know you more often, which makes the conversation more exciting. In order to do that, you need to be vulnerable and share yourself with the other person, and ask the other person the same questions to guide them.

``Since the sociability we gain is greatly influenced by our interactions with others, improving the quality of those interactions is of great benefit,'' Tynan said.