What is the point to convey negative evaluation more constructively?

It's tempting to tell about your opponent's failure and bad points, but Dave, an angel investor and startup coaching, on how to do effective feedback without hurting the opponent・ Bayley has posted on the blog.

How to Deliver Constructive Feedback in Difficult Situations


Many entrepreneurs have high empathy because it is necessary to understand what customers of their business need and what they feel when launching a new business. However, when communicating a negative evaluation, Bailey points out that the feeling of the side that is conveyed by the empathy is considered, and it may not be transmitted well.

Therefore, Bailey's recommendation is a communication method called 'Nonviolent Communication ( NVC )', which says that using NVC can convey necessary information without criticizing or cheating. You As a basic form of the NVC, Bailey addresses the following statement.

At the time of [Observation Content] , I felt like [Emotion] because I need [Universal Needs], but can you [Request] ?

It looks easy at first glance, but difficult to practice. Mr. Bailey explains the difference in subtle nuances, which is an important issue when actually putting content into four blanks, using some examples.

◆ Observation
Observation is what you actually saw and heard. One of the basic habits of human beings is that when observing something, a story is automatically constructed in the brain, and we make judgments such as good and evil at the moment of seeing and hearing something. It is easy to Although indicators such as good and evil created by judgment in this brain are evaluations, Bailey says that it is difficult to separate observation and evaluation.

Also, Bailey explains the difference between observation and evaluation with some examples.

Rating: 'You are lazy' (attack on the character)
Observation: 'I heard that I sent the document last week but I have not received it yet'

Evaluation: 'Your job must have been' (criticism)
Observation: 'The number on the report was incorrect 3'

Rating: 'You are always late' (generalization)
Observation: 'You were ten minutes late for the meeting this morning'

Rating: 'You ignored me' (implicit intention)
Observation: 'I have not received two email replies I sent before'

Bailey says that the key to discerning evaluations and observations is to ask yourself 'What was the actual event you saw and heard?'

◆ Universal needs
In NVC, it is considered that all human beings seek the same element, and negative emotion is generated when the element is not satisfied. The universally required elements are, for example:

・ Safety

As an important point here, Bailey has stated that the sentence 'from you' is not included in the needs. 'I need support' is a universal need, but 'if you need support' may be interpreted as a criticism that 'you are not supporting me.' .

◆ emotion
Communicating emotions has a profound effect on others. In many cases, words such as 'fear', 'worry', 'embarrassment' and 'sad' are used. Even if the word 'feels like' is included, for example, it should be noted that 'feeling that you are not serious' is thinking, not feeling. In terms of emotions, it means 'I am dissatisfied.'

Also, Bailey says that you need to pay particular attention to anger in your emotions. When you feel angry, you tend to forget about NVC, so it is important to first understand what you feel angry about before you communicate.

◆ Demand
Requirements are issued to meet unmet needs. Bailey explains the principles that will help in making the request.

・ Be specific
It is better to avoid vague demands such as 'respect others more' and to explain in detail the specific actions to show respect.

・ Do not want things to do
You need to be specific about what you want them to do. Bailey says it's important to take the time to clarify what you want them to do if the demand only comes in a negative way.

It's also said that it's better to meet people rather than emails, and communicate them very concisely when communicating negative ratings. Bailey takes up three real examples created with that in mind.

・ Comments to co-founders
'When I was told in front of the team that I was dissatisfied with your work, I felt ashamed of losing trust. Would you like to have a meeting with only two people once a week? ? '

・ Opinion to investors
'I have not responded to the monthly report for the past 3 months. I am worried because I need information. Can you please reply to the questions I mentioned in the last month's report?'

・ Opinions to teammates
'You've been 10 minutes late for a meeting three times in a row, but we're frustrated with the need for efficiency as a team. Could you tell us what's going on? '

Bailey says that using such compassionate leadership can overcome conflicts better.

in Note, Posted by log1d_ts