How should I treat children who do not want to leave their parents?
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While the parent is raising the child, 'The child cries every time the parent's figure disappears' 'The child does not want to leave the parent even if I go out' You may be faced with issues such as clinging to Elizabeth Wellstrap , a senior psychology lecturer at Deakin University , explains how to treat children who do not want to leave their parents.
Is my child being too clingy and how can I help?
https://theconversation.com/is-my-child-being-too-clingy-and-how-can-i-help-115372
The act of clinging to children leaving their parents and clinging is a very strong emotional act. Not only the children but also in the upper grades of elementary school, the children seem to show the behavior of clinging to their parents, and in the case of children, they may cry from a refusal response to leaving their parents. These reactions are by no means strange, and it is important for parents to take children's responses firmly.
Children cling to their parents because of fear of leaving their parents and fear of being surrounded by others who are not familiar, such as their parents. As children develop their ego as they develop, as a result they express their intentions and, as a result of emotions that they want to affect the surrounding environment, they appeal to their parents for their desire to stay with their parents. Clinging, Westrup points out.
Children are socially and biologically programmed to have a strong attachment to their parents, and the presence of a guardian is a “loving hub” in the process of children exploring the world and becoming independent. And that.
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The frequency and intensity of behavior in which children cling to their parents can increase with some conditions. The first is “the character of the child,” and a very shy or non-sociable child hates leaving the parent, and a type of child who expresses emotions violently hates leaving the parent. I tend to take action.
The second condition is 'big event or change'. In addition to the birth and relocation of new siblings, children who face major changes such as entering kindergartens, nursery schools and elementary schools, or attending new classes are uneasy to leave their parents.
The third problem is 'other household problems', and when parents are separated or divorced, parents are stressed or have problems with their mind and body, children are sensitive to changes in parents and feel uneasy. You should want your children to be calm when their parents are facing anxiety, but unfortunately children who feel their parents' anxieties are reluctant to leave their parents and tend to take various actions. Said Westrup.
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Mr. Westrup also explains how parents should cope with the behavior of children who do not like such separation.
◆ 1: A safe base for children
Many children cling to their parents for fear of a new environment. This is a developmentally appropriate action, as it is dangerous for a single child to enter a potentially dangerous place. On the other hand, it is also important that children leave their parents and have confidence in their abilities.
Parents can be a safe base for their children while supporting new challenges and helping them get used to the new environment. For example, if a child is anxious about entering a new nursery, at first, parents can spend a while at the nursery together for a while, so that the child gets used to the nursery while feeling the reliable parent That you can
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◆ 2: Understand the feelings of children
A child clinging to a parent is as desperate as complaining about their feelings. Even if parents ignore them, they do not solve the problem because their feelings are not resolved. Parents should talk about their feelings of anxiety and fear, and help them understand and adjust their feelings.
◆ 3: Treat children with confidence and calmness
Parents are important role models for children, and their behavior is used to help children learn what to do. As a result, Westrup points out that parents should be confident and responsive when their children feel anxious. For example, when entering elementary school, children feel uneasy about whether the new environment is safe. Therefore, if parents respond to their children with confidence that 'elementary school is a safe place', they can see it and relieve their anxiety about elementary school.
◆ 4: Discuss what happens
Not only children, humans are afraid of unknown things. The new environment is a threat to children because they do not know what will happen, but parents can reduce their anxiety about the unknown and calm down by telling them what will happen. Even if you go to a hospital, it is important to talk about future plans such as changing clothes, carrying luggage, going to a hospital near the kindergarten, completing the reception and meeting a doctor.
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On the other hand, if the child is too persistent, there may be other problems. Therefore, in the items such as 'Is the reason why the child does not want to leave the parent clearly' 'Is it a level that hinders daily life' 'Is the problem behavior occurring every day and it lasts 4 weeks or more?' Mr. Westrap advised that in light of this, if it can be judged that the child's life has been disturbed, you should consult a specialist such as a doctor or counselor.
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