Three points to talk well
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People sometimes need to have awkward chats with strangers, such as when they share a coworker at the elevator at work or when a friend and a `` friend of a friend '' leave their seats during a meal with three friends I will be pressed. At that time, Dr. Ellen Hendricksen of Boston University's Center for Anxiety-related Disease summarizes three points from a clinical psychologist's point of view.
3 Tips to Starting a Conversation (and Defusing Awkwardness) | Savvy Psychologist
https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/health-fitness/mental-health/3-tips-to-starting-a-conversation-and-defusing-awkwardness
◆ 1: Talk to yourself
Most people want to speak rather than talk to themselves. Especially for introverts, talking to them is a great pressure and a kind of betting. That's why Dr. Hendricksen says that talking here can be a surprise.
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◆ 2: Start with a little story
If you have attended any kind of orientations or seminars, many people have heard of the word ice break . Some people start straight from the main subject, but if you start with a little talk like melting hard ice, the tension will be relaxed and the conversation will go well. For example, we often talk about the weather, how busy the trains and roads are today, or talk about the games of major sports teams. The content of the 'story' itself is not very meaningful, but it is important to get the other person to know what you feel before you start talking in earnest.
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◆ 3: Not too good talking, but not too good listening
This type of advice often includes 'listen to the other person'. Certainly, being able to listen to the other person and tell them that they are interested will help build a trusting relationship. However, according to Dr. Hendriksen, 'It's not good to hear too much.'
Because if you listen to the other person's story despite your first meeting, you will remain unknown to the other person, and if you ask too many questions, you will feel as if the other person is being interrogated Because Therefore, if you talk about yourself the first time you start a conversation, you can start the conversation from a state where you know the other person. Of course, without introducing a formal self-introduction from the beginning, it is appropriate to talk about what you have eaten recently, what kind of impressions you have, what minor problems that have occurred around you, and so on.
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Dr. Hendriksen encountered a book while studying conversation. The book was published in 1910 by the American writer Horatio Sheafe Krans, The Lost Art of Conversation. In other words, humanity has been suffering from chats for over a century. Dr. Hendriksen concludes, 'In this situation, humans would have been desperate to look for a topic since living in a cave. Compared to the Red Sox results, the more you can talk about, the more modern you are That's the end. '
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