Scientific way to "make friends" fastest

ByKristina Kamburova

"Scientific method for making friends fastest" is "on the Internet"36 questions that can fall in love with unfamiliar peopleIt is also known as. This question is based on research papers published by psychologist Arthur Aaron in 1997 and was not originally said to be "falling in love", but rather "a close relationship between college students with intimate human relations The purpose was to make it.

The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary FindingsPersonality and Social Psychology Bulletin - Arthur Aron, Edward Melinat, Elaine N. Aron, Robert Darrin Vallone, Renee J. Bator, 1997
(PDF file)http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0146167297234003

How to make a friend fast - the scientific method
https://happyturtlethings.net/how-to-make-a-friend-fast/

The experiments conducted during the above research was that the two pairs asked each other 36 questions and gazed over after 4 minutes of interrogation. Only 45 minutes of experimentation felt that one third of subjects "got intimate with the partner", two of the subjects actually got married after six months and they said that they invited the laboratory's various people to the ceremony It is.

Also, Mr. Mandy Len Katrón who is a writer of the New York Times tested "opponent but people who do not know", it seems that he actually fell in love.

The 36 Questions That Lead to Love - The New York Times
https://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html

Mr. Katron's experience was also told in TED's lecture.

Falling in love is the easy part | Mandy Len Catron - YouTube


These 36 questions are divided into three parts, designed to make conversations about more personal emotions and experiences as you ask more questions. The contents of the question are as follows.

◆ Set 1
01:
If you could choose anyone from all over the world, who would you like to invite to dinner?

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02:
Do you want to be famous? If so, what kind of method?

03:
Do you rehearse what kind of content to talk about before you call? If so, why?

04:
What is "perfect day" for you?

05:
When was the last time you sang? Did it sing for me or for someone?

06:
If you could live to be 90 years old as a 30 year old mind or body, choose between 30 years old mind and body for 60 years from 30 to 90 years old?

07:
Is there any "premonition" that I have not told anyone about dying?

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08:
Please tell me three common points between myself and the person you are currently talking to.

09:
What is the most appreciated thing in my life?

Ten:
If you could change one of the processes you have grown up, what would you change?

11:
Please tell your partner in as much detail as possible of your life in 4 minutes.

12:
If you could get a talent for something when you woke up tomorrow, what kind of talent do you want?

◆ Set 2
13:
If crystal balls tell you your own · your life · future etc, what would you like to know?

14:
Is there anything you dream of for years? And why is not it realized?

15:
What is the biggest achievement in your life?

16:
What is the most important part of friendship?

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17:
What memories do you cherish most?

18:
What are the worst memories?

19:
If I knew that I suddenly died in one year, is there any place to change in my current way of life? And why?

20:
What does friendship mean to you?

twenty one:
What role does love and compassion play in your life?

twenty two:
Please list five good points on the other person 's personality and share each other.

twenty three:
Are you intimate with your family? Do you feel that your childhood was happier than others?

twenty four:
How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?

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◆ Set 3
twenty five:
Please make three sentences with "us" as the subject, such as "We are in the room now and feel like this".

26:
Please talk about "what kind of thing" in the sentence "I wish there was someone who could share such things", please complete the sentence.

27:
Please tell me what you want me to know about myself as being intimate with your partner you are in now.

28:
Please tell your partner where you like about your partner. Please do not tell the first person the honest content.

29:
Share the most embarrassing part of your life with partners.

30:
When was the last time you cried in public? Also, when did you cry alone?

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31:
Please tell me about your liking about partners through conversation.

32:
Is there anything you can not be joking about being too serious?

33:
In the evening, if you die without being able to communicate with anyone, will you regret not telling anyone? And why have not you told that to your opponent now?

34:
If your house with all your wealth has become a fire, loved ones and pets have already been rescued, what if you can get something if there is no danger in life one more time, what will you pick up? And why?

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35:
Which of the families do you think is the most painful to death? Please tell me why.

36:
Please share personal problems with partners and seek advice on how to handle them. Also, please ask me how you seemed to feel about that problem.

In the study of Professor Aaron, it was concluded that it did not affect the intimacy of the two people, firstly, such a story as "Why did you go to the zoo last?" Also, whether to agree to the topic or whether to be able to derive a common topic does not affect the sense of "getting intimate with each other". Importantly,Disclose personal information that you can not say much in daily life in stages and take intimate actions against your opponentIt turned out to be.

On the other hand, note that this question content is not "to build intimate relationship over a long period", but it is designed to create an intimate relationship with the opponent immediately, to create temporary intimacy Is necessary. In addition to this, the following trends were also shown in the research.

· People who do not have intimate relationships feel affectionate here will not be intimate through experiments

· People with an attachment style of anxiety and immersion type are not satisfied with the intimacy born by experiments

· If "intimacy" is not explicitly indicated as a task, an introverted person does not show the intimacy level as an outgoing person, but "intimacy" is explicitly indicated as a task , And after the experiment show a similar intimacy level

· When an introverted person and an outgoing person pair up, the outgoing person shows "more intimate" than the introverted partner who is a partner

· People with low self-esteem become intimate with same-sex partners, people with high self-esteem become intimate with heterosexual partners

And the important thing is that people participating in the experiment enjoyed the experiments and that many of the subjects had a connection after the experiment.