How is the methodology for the quality and level up of marriage that changes with society?

ByKatsu Nojiri

Life and way of thinking in human society are changing as we adapt to the development of science and economics. In response to the question of "Is the quality of modern marriage better than before, or has it gone bad" to make such a change in society?Northwestern UniversityHe is a professor of psychologyDr. Eli J. FinkelI am pushing a column on the New York Times newspaper.

The All-or-Nothing Marriage - NYTimes.com
http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/15/opinion/sunday/the-all-or-nothing-marriage.html

There is a reason to support that in either answer that "the quality of marriage has gone bad" or "it got better". Under the idea of ​​"getting worse", I regard that the divorce rate is rising as "indicating that the idea of ​​continuing marriage relationship is decreasing", "The decline of morality affects society in general from adults to children On the other hand, the idea of ​​saying "getting better" is a sign indicating that women's independence is improving while admitting an increase in divorce rate, while " The quality of marriage itself is getting better than before. "

However, Dr. Finkel, who has been digging in "marriage" for many years in terms of psychology, sociology, economics and history, has not simply answered that it got better or worse "The quality of marriage is good We are evolving on both sides, both in the direction and in the wrong direction. "

According to the degree of satisfaction of the married life, Dr. categorizes the common couple into two groups of "ordinary" and "satisfied" and investigates the change in the contents. In the married life of the "ordinary" group, the quality declines are seen from the viewpoint of satisfaction and divorce rate, whereas in the "satisfied" group the quality improvement is seen from the viewpoint of satisfaction of life and "individual happiness" By the satisfaction level that the couple feels, I found that there is a big difference in how to grasp the quality of marriage.

ByAJ Mangoba

Dr. also investigated 14 pairs of couples over the long term from 1979 to 2002research result, And showed that the difference in satisfaction level separating both groups continues to open each year. About that change, Dr. has repeatedly studied with a research team including a psychologist and derived a new theory on marriage. Even this yearPsychological InquiryAccording to research results published in the magazine, it is clear that in today's American society there are cases where the quality of marriage is improving at a level not seen so far. However, it is a case of "when we were able to spend more time and energy due to relationships with our partners", and that the quality of marriage is also declared lower in the case that it is not realized , And Dr. said that the elements of "All or nothing" (one or eight) are getting stronger than before "about modern marriage."

With regard to the form of 'changing marriage', Dr. categorizes it into three stages according to American history and shows the change as follows.

From the United States Foundation to around 1850: marriage as an organization (institutional marriage)
Once married was deeply closely related to isolation from food production, housing and violence. Of course, as in modern times we had "satisfaction" and "unity", but it is pointed out that the above elements were obtained as a result of a satisfied life. Marriage has an important meaning in survival itself, suggesting that "satisfaction" was positioned as a by-product of it.

From around 1850 to around 1965: Fraternity marriage (companionate marriage)
At this time, in response to the fact that the living base of the American society moved from the surrounding area to the urban area, marriage for the marriage to the Americans is to love, to be loved, to have a satisfying sex life It changed to what it realized. In the past, work that was "to live" will change to become "wages" and afford to come to seek "fellowship with people".

Since 1965, until now: self-expression marriage (self-expressive marriage)
In modern American society, marriage is becoming recognized as a place of self discovery, self esteem, personal growth. The flow of dissident culture that has occurred since the mid 1960s has changed marriage from "one that can not be avoided" to "one of options for self-realization" as before. movies"Romance novelistDialogue says that the serif "appearing to be a good man for you" appears in such a period that captures changes in such a period.

Dr. said this change in the 1940's psychologistAbraham MaslowClaimed "Maslow's desire for stage of desireIn contrast to the "marriage," it indicates that marriage is changing according to social development. Maslow suggests that "human beings are constantly growing creatures towards self-realization," assuming that basic desire is "Physiological appetite"Desire for safety"Affiliation and desire of love"Desire for approval (respect)"Desire for self realizationWe classified it into 5 levels.

ByWikipedia

Although "Maslow's desire stage theory" has various arguments, the concept is "human desires are filled in descending order of low dimension". In the past, marriage where "survival and safety" was regarded as the most important, has become "self-realization" in modern times, which shows that living conditions are changing to a higher level accordingly. Based on this theory, Dr. says that "With more time and energy to use for relationships with partners, we can gain more profits than ever before," according to this theory.

At the same time, however, we point out that there is social disparity in how we feel satisfied (= divorce rate). The percentage of couples married in the 1970s within 10 years was 28% in the low educated group and 18% in the highly educated group, compared with 46% in the first half of the 1990s, 16 % And it is clear that the difference between the two has become clear. Also, this is tied to both income levels.


"The problem is not that the poor are not aware of the importance of married life and that what both sides think is important in marriage is not different.The real problem is that unemployment It is a problem that poor people lack the time and margin to maintain married life due to the social gap caused by the employment problem, including "

Finally, in order to improve the quality of marriage, "It is useful to utilize the residents' services provided by the government and municipalities and to create time, but there is more than that. First and foremost, two It is important to review how to use time you can share and invest time and energy in your married life.If you can not afford to invest more, you need to talk about the content of life you are seeking from each other , It is important to prioritize the connection between two people rather than to promote self-realization of each other ".