How to be happier by spending time away from your ideals, saying, 'You don't have to be forcibly happy.'
Everyone dreams of their ideal image and wants to be that kind of person. Many people may feel embarrassed or guilty about the distance between their ideals and reality, but 'being a daring self' can make you happier, 'rebecca of the news media The Guardian said.・ Mr. Seal discusses and explains how to do it.
Be bad, better – from anger to laziness, how to put your worst habits to good use | New year | The Guardian
◆ Neutralize your body
In recent years, a social movement called 'body positivity' has become active worldwide. This is an exercise focused on freeing people from the ideals of Europeanized beauty such as 'white skin' and 'slim' and accepting all bodies regardless of body shape, skin color or gender. While there is an opinion that this movement 'is affirmed to break away from stereotypes', it is pointed out that 'people who feel that they look bad are more psychologically negative'.
In contrast to body positivity, which affirms one's body, accepting one's body in a neutral manner is called 'body liberation'. Chrissy King, who advocated the movement of body liberation, said about body positivity, 'The idea of loving yourself no matter what, is taken up by a slightly fat white woman,' I am ideal. It's not easy for people who feel 'far from'. ' 'Blacks, transgenders, and people with disabilities can love themselves with all their heart, but that doesn't mean they don't face social oppression. The problem is that they love, accept, and accept their bodies. Whether we can act to release the oppression, 'King said.
As for his appearance, his ideals are high, but Mr. Seal does not over-diet or, conversely, forcibly affirm his body based on Mr. King's thinking. , 'Take a neutral view' is recommended.
◆ Do not deny negative emotions
Next, Mr. Seal advocated that 'learning to love negative emotions' is important. Suppressing one emotion also suppresses all other emotions, so it's important to accept each emotion and deal with negative events that can occur over and over again. increase.
◆ Organizing is not always important
It is also important to create an environment that is moderately full. 'Neatly organized and highly organized' is often taken up as an ideal, but maintaining such a system leads to unnecessary waste of money and time.
It is not surprising that the processing of possessions is emotionally costly, as humans are also known to infuse their possessions with value, or affection, that goes far beyond their physical characteristics. Seal notes that you don't have to aim for a minimalist life, you can stay in a messy space surrounded by lots of things.
In addition, Mr. Seal introduced the theory that people who were told 'Don't be afraid during class' when they were children may feel guilty about resting, and they do not feel guilty about resting. He explained that he didn't have to try 'ideal rest' such as using aroma candles and spas, and he could rest freely. He said it would be good to read a book that recognizes and verbalizes one's inner self.
'Self-hatred is like an engine that drives you, but what really matters is whether you can be kind to yourself. It's easy to say,'You can hurt yourself,' but' It's hard to say, 'I'm important.' It can be difficult to learn a new way of spending, but it can be a beautiful, fun and exciting experience. '
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