Why do people feel lonely, how can we escape from solitude?

by rubberduck1951

People living in contemporary society often suffer from " loneliness " and sometimes depend on alcohol and drugs to confuse solitude. Although loneliness is a painful thing, a movie that explains why people feel lonely and how to deal with loneliness is published on YouTube.

Loneliness


We could not find friends to eat together at lunch ... ...

I feel lonely when I move my life to a different environment than before.

Everyone in us feels lonely, but in recent decades I feel loneliness more and more. In the UK, 60% of 18 to 34 years of age feel loneliness, and in the United States 46% of the total population is feeling lonely regularly.

With the development of the Internet and SNS, we live in an era when we can connect with as many people as ever. On the other hand, the number of people who feel loneliness has increased to an unprecedented level.

Being alone and being alone is not the same. Even when surrounded by many people, people may feel lonely.

Loneliness is a subjective, personal experience.

In general, loneliness seems to be a problem that is common to people such as "I do not know how to talk with others" or "I do not know how to behave in circumstances surrounded by unknown people" ... ...

Research has shown that there is no connection between social skills and the degree of social relationship. Even if you are a good person to contact with people, you may feel lonely.

Also, regardless of how much wealth or reputation is felt, loneliness is what it feels. Loneliness is a biological thing.

Loneliness is a physical function similar to a person feeling hungry. When you feel hungry, you can see that the body wants food ......

People who feel loneliness want a social connection.

In the past, social connections to humans increased the possibility of survival. Human ancestors develop social skills to cooperate with each other to survive ... ....

It has evolved to read human emotions with a little facial expressions and voice nuances and maintain social connections.

In the past, humans lived in about 50 to 150 communities. It was difficult for only one person to take both warm and meal, and needed to cooperate throughout the community.

Falling into solitude means "death". Therefore, it is said that human beings have refined social skills and become friends with other people became important to survival.

Therefore, humans have come to learn "pain" and "suffering" by loneliness.

If you take actions that are alienated from the community, you need to act so that you can quickly feel pain and return to the community.

If you do not feel pain by loneliness, you will not mind if you get stuck from the community, and it will soon be dead.

This mechanism that has been successful for many years will change due to the creation of a new society by humans. After Western culture went through Renaissance and focused on "individuals", the industrial revolution greatly changed the social structure.

People have traveled a long distance for work and education, and contact with others is decreasing compared to the past.

Many people do not have time to work, study, Netflix etc. So I reduced my contacts with my friends and spend time ... ...

Eventually you realize that you are lonely and one day loneliness will become chronic.

Even if technology develops, the human body has basically remained unchanged from 50,000 years ago. Therefore, the function that feels pain due to loneliness still remained.

Stress caused by loneliness ages people, has an adverse effect such as weakening of the immune system, and brings comparable or more harm than obesity and tobacco.

Social distress caused by loneliness makes people take defensive postures. People perceive the surroundings as dangerous situations, and they will find enmity and harmlessness everywhere.

Research shows that the brain not only becomes extremely sensitive to social signals but also becomes unable to properly accept signals when people feel loneliness.

While it becomes more sensitive than necessary to other people's expressions and words, the brain increases reading mistakes of people's attitudes and emotions. Therefore, even though the other party has a neutral emotion, he tends to think that "This person dislikes himself" and "I am hostile to myself."

As loneliness increases the misreading of others' intentions, it has raised distrust of society ......

Often it is going to push himself to further loneliness.

If loneliness accounts for a large proportion in their lives, people tend to fit in solitary traps.

As a result of holding a negative emotion more than necessary for a slight mistake, increasing the hostility towards others ... ...

People are more likely to avoid social connections themselves. People will feel further loneliness by this.

It is difficult to escape from this negative cycle, sitting apart from others in the classroom ......

I will refuse to accept people 's invitation.

Slowly loneliness creeps over people over the years. Loneliness often develops to depression and so on.

In order to deal with loneliness, it seems necessary to first accept that "feeling loneliness is an ordinary feeling."

People feel lonely in every scene of their lives, and even if they wait for sudden loneliness to disappear like magic, it will not work.

So, first of all, it is important to recognize that "I am feeling lonely" and to take action to eliminate the cause.

Really think whether other people were hostile to them ... ...

It seems to be important to look back on yourself whether you were adding negative nuisance to someone's words yourself.

Behavior of acquaintances that looked hostile at possibly ... ...

It may be that I was just worried about whether I could be in time for the next schedule.

If you seem to be looking for nice to avoid yourself and decline invitation ......

I should think about whether I truly want that situation, or if I want a new connection.

If you can not solve your situation yourself, it is also important to ask professionals for help.

It is necessary to reconsider that relying on experts is not a "behavior of escape" but a "courageous action" to change my own environment.

Human has made a world that can survive without involving other people ... ...

It has not changed since tens of thousands of years that social connections are very important for humans.

If you feel lonely, try sending a message to someone ...

It is important to take actions such as writing e-mails to friends who have not met for a while and inviting their colleagues to a coffee shop.

Some may not take a positive reaction to their actions. However, as human beings are different from what they are seeking, it is important that they are not minded as a matter of course.

It is necessary to cope with loneliness by gradually consciously increasing social contact, like training muscles.