Tending problems with child rearing Although it tends to hand out "child rearing books", it is a first mistake to think that there is an optimal method

Parenting does not necessarily go as though the parent thinks, but after the trouble he should rely on "parenting book". However, there are even irony things that when you read a book, you are overwhelmed by a wide variety of child-rearing information, the problem is rather deepening. People who have reached the truth that "There is no right answer for childcare," after reading the parenting book point out the sinfulness of "parenting book business".

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https://www.theguardian.com/news/2018/jan/16/baby-advice-books-industry-attachment-parenting

Compared to other mammalian babies, human babies are born in an immature state. A baby such as a deer or giraffe will rise as soon as it is born, but a human baby can not move freely for a long period, and the defenseless state continues. About this, there is a theory that human beings are born in immature condition because it is impossible for us to pass through the birth tract at a fairly early stage due to too much brain development compared with other animals. Apart from whether it is correct or not, human babies are so immature and unprotected that there is no doubt that adults around parents need to support and care for themselves. And even newborn babies and babies' support is a continuation of troubles, even those who appreciate it as one of the most difficult problems in life without trouble.


Oliver Barkman, a writer who writes articles on psychology and happiness science, is a father with a boy who is 1 year and 5 months old. As a son is born, she will use it as a reference for parenting "Baby raising" · I extended my hand to the so-called "parenting book" written for Dad. Like many parents of the world who take child-rearing books, Mr. Berkman repeats the action of reading one volume and sometimes sticking to another child-raising book that there is something that does not quite understand one final I heard that he purchased 23 volumes.

Mr. Berkman who read 23 parenting books noticed that it has the same structure as the psychology that he has been involved with so far, and the guidance document of happiness science. That is, "When comparing several books, it is written that the opposite or inconsistent things are written." Mr. Berkman who noticed that he felt that parenting books and devising content of the iron plate as a business for the author who writes books and the publishing company that publishes it.

The reason is that parents with child-rearing books have troubles with raising children and wandering in search of correct answers, but there are correct methods for parenting that is one of the most difficult problems in the first place in the first place It is because it misses that there is nothing and it is only an illusion. Mr. Berkman arrived at the conclusion that this "illusion" holds not only lambs (parents) wandering in search of answers, but also leaders (author) who shout the correct answers loudly.

According to Mr. Berkman, there is a threatening complaint that there is a difference in degree, but in most parenting books, "Breeding at the early stage of birth has a serious impact on the future of that child", and this threatening complaint Even skeptical readers will not be afraid to be afraid of fear. "Why are you missing a book price of 10.99 pounds (about 1600 yen), do you make a child a monster?" The effect of the killing phrase is tremendous for parents raising children.


Mr. Berkman understood that there is a conflicting idea that can be called two major powers about how to handle the so-called "baby" from the newborn baby to the infant. one"Baby TrainersThe theory that newborns should be managed with an orderly sleep schedule as early as possible, called " The leader of Baby Trainers insists that not only babies themselves become emotional instability but also the life rhythms of supporting parents will go wrong unless babies are given sleep training. To counter this is "Natural Parents"The baby said that it is better to nurture" naturally "as the mother feels good. However, since Natural Parents has the idea that women should devote themselves to child rearing, they do not do good work of parenting while working.

The Baby Trainers theory says, "Even if the baby cries, you must leave it, so that the baby learns to" cry "and" cease crying "sooner or later, by doing so I will. But Berkman said that the Baby Trainers theory seemed to have thought that his son was trainable like a dog. In contrast, the Natural Parents theory says "Babies are" adults "trapped in small bodies. To abandon a baby crying is the same as leaving an old man who has lost the ability to speak, it is harmful.

Mr. Berkman who was worried about which theory is right, eventually challenged his son to control the sleeping time of the baby, called sleep training, with reference to a parenting book that takes a certain Baby Trainers theory. Then the baby slept for about 10 hours after crying for about 4 minutes and Berkman sitting up through the night felt that something was wrong. And I realized that my son follows the different rules from the manual.


Mr. Berkman points out the best way to nurture children Although the "Child-rearing Manual" itself has its own era, it points out that it has changed with changes in times and society. Since the death of infants caused by infectious diseases was a problem in the past, advice was given that "You should avoid the urge to embrace infants, play with them, or kiss," but the medical standards are high In this modern age, this advice may be ruthless. However, according to Berkman, in the present age where, for example, the risk of death of a baby has declined, the nature itself of "parents feel uneasy during child rearing" is unchanged, so that another thing that I did not mind was anxiety factors It will be. For example, in modern society, parents are concerned about 'having pests on the mouth has an adverse effect on teeth Nurari "or" the use of plastic tableware has the potential of harming the health in the future " is.

However, Mr. Berkman thinks that the idea that the method that has never been practiced in the latest "child rearing law" has a wonderful influence on the future of the baby is fundamentally funny. If there was no known "how to raise a happy and successful child", it was supposed that no one was happy and successful child did not grow up in the days when it was not being formulated It is not. Mr. Berkman pointed out that almost all the great men of history should have been raised without taking into account the insights of published parenting books.

I targeted 354 newly born mothersthe studySo, as the number of parenting books I read increased, the degree of depressed state of mothers was so high that the result that they lost confidence in parenting was given. Mr. Berkman thinks that this result is not surprising as the baby is inevitable to "rule" because the rate of stress is increased. And according to the rules of parenting books, Barkman points out that childcare will become more boring as you concentrate on the rules and less will you try to understand the raising baby.


According to Mr. Berkman, "wrong child rearing" is not "to incorporate wrong techniques" but "to think of child rearing from a technical point of view". The relationship between humans and humans is tremendously complicated, there are countless "variables" that trigger and condition humans. Reducing innumerable variables is attractive because it makes it easier to understand things, but Berkman thinks that it is nonsense to pick out only a few things out of a myriad of variables and discuss them I will.