Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones' website 'Infowars' was auctioned off to satirical media outlet 'The Onion,' which won the bid, and the site will be shut down and replaced with something else.



The American satirical news outlet '

The Onion ' reported that it had won the auction for ' InfoWars ,' a website launched by Alex Jones, a famous conspiracy theorist. Bryce P. Tetrader, CEO of Global Tetrahedron, a fictional nefarious company created by The Onion, explained the reason for acquiring InfoWars.

Here's Why I Decided To Buy 'InfoWars' - The Onion
https://theonion.com/heres-why-i-decided-to-buy-infowars/



The Onion wins Alex Jones' Infowars in bankruptcy auction
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/onion-wins-alex-jones-infowars-bankruptcy-auction-rcna179936

Jones was sued by the families of the victims of the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting for spreading conspiracy theories that the incident was fake. Jones was ordered to pay a large amount of damages by the court and eventually went bankrupt . In June 2024, the court decided to sell Jones' personal assets to recover damages for the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting. As a result, InfoWars was sold and put up for auction.

On November 13, 2024 local time, Infowars founder Jones said, 'I just got a call from my lawyer and staff 15 minutes ago saying, 'I met with American Pipeworks about your bankruptcy and they told me they plan to close the business even without a court order.'' 'I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm going to be here until they come and turn off the lights,' revealing that Infowars is in danger of closing due to Jones' bankruptcy.




The next day, on November 14, Bryce P. Tetrader, CEO of Global Tetrahedron, the parent company of The Onion, humorously reported on The Onion that it had won the auction for InfoWars.

According to Tetrader, InfoWars has 'steadily grown into a valuable tool for spreading conspiracy theories and brainwashing the masses since its founding in 1999.' InfoWars aims to make life scarier and longer for everyone by cleverly combining delusional paranoia with dubious anti-aging hacks. Tetrader described InfoWars as 'a true unicorn, inspiring public support for billionaires while stirring up anger at an incompetent federal state that could assassinate John F. Kennedy but couldn't even send a man to the moon.'

InfoWars uses these tactics to incite consumer anger and radicalize the most vulnerable in society. This is a value that 'resonates deeply with Global Tetrahedron,' Tetrader wrote. 'No price is too high for such a versatile treasure trove of assets and intellect. Fortunately, powerful special interests outwitted InfoWars' hapless owner (Alex Jones) and forced him to sell InfoWars for the exorbitant price of less than $1 trillion.'

'Make no mistake: this is a win for our company and a win for the global multinational elite,' Tetrard said of the InfoWars acquisition.



Regarding the future of InfoWars, Tetrader said, 'The surplus funds from the acquisition will be invested in charitable activities such as business school scholarships for promising future leaders, charities to give voting rights to endangered third world dictators, and free programs to assign stable factory jobs to orphans without costing factories.' 'InfoWars will immediately stop selling vitamins and supplements. If it can extend a person's life by even 10 minutes, it is unethical to dilute these miracle drugs and offer them to the general public. Instead, we are planning to collect all the inventory in InfoWars' warehouse in a large container, boil the contents down to make one candy bar-sized multivitamin, which one executive (who will not be named) will eat, gain power, and maybe become immortal,' he joked.

NBC News has learned from a person familiar with the InfoWars situation that The Onion plans to shut down InfoWars and re-establish it as a website featuring well-known internet humorists and content creators.

Chris Mattei, attorney for the families of the victims of the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting, said in a statement, 'Our clients have said that true accountability requires the end of InfoWars and the removal of Jones's ability to spread lies, pain and fear.' 'By separating Jones from InfoWars, the families and The Onion have performed a public service and significantly impaired Jones' ability to do further harm.'

Jones described the buyer of InfoWars as 'a friendly supporter who will allow us to continue broadcasting the show as usual' on the broadcast, and the other bidders as 'bad guys trying to shut down InfoWars.' Jones said that if the buyer of InfoWars informs him that the site will be shut down, he will continue broadcasting through alternative channels, but it is believed that losing the InfoWars brand will not be as appealing as it has been until now.

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