What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a sex friend?

A 'sex friend' relationship, where sexual activity is included in a friendship but without the commitment or exclusivity of a romantic relationship, has characteristics that differ from a romantic relationship or a one-night stand. A research team from the University of Tennessee and other institutions analyzed 38 previous studies and reported on the advantages and disadvantages of sex friend relationships.

A Meta-Analysis of Friends with Benefits Relationships: Examining Sexual Features, Sexual and Mental Health, Violence/Aggression, and Gender | Archives of Sexual Behavior | Springer Nature Link
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-026-03426-0

Large new study reveals the hidden trade-offs of friends with benefits
https://www.psypost.org/a-large-new-study-reveals-the-hidden-trade-offs-of-friends-with-benefits/

The concept of 'sex friends' originated in the 1990s from research on friendships between men and women and has since been studied in fields such as psychology, communication studies, and public health. However, definitions and measurement methods vary greatly depending on the field, and the results have been inconsistent, with some studies pointing to negative impacts on mental health while others report benefits in interpersonal relationships. Therefore, a research team led by Spencer B. Olmsted of the University of Tennessee conducted a 'meta-analysis' to integrate the results of multiple studies and examine overall trends. The analysis included 38 studies that met the criteria, such as academic papers, dissertations, and conference presentations.

The research team compared people in sex friend relationships with those in 'engaged relationships,' 'continuous romantic relationships,' 'one-night stands,' 'people who contact others for the purpose of sex,' and 'people without a romantic partner.' The survey covered five areas: 'sexual experiences,' 'sexual health risks,' 'violence and aggression,' 'clinical mental health,' and 'daily mental health.'

As a result, the research team listed the following advantages and disadvantages of having sex friends:

◆Benefit 1: Wide range of sexual experiences
When comparing sexual satisfaction, sexual experiences, sexual fantasies, and motivations for sexual activity, individuals in sex friend relationships tended to have a broader range of sexual experiences than all other groups. Compared directly to romantic relationships, romantic relationships often involved deep kissing and affectionate sexual touching, while sex friend relationships reported more oral and anal sex. Furthermore, in heterosexual sex friend relationships, men tended to have higher indicators of sexual experience than women.

◆Benefit 2: Less violence and control than in a romantic relationship.
When comparing physical violence, emotional abuse, psychological control, and deception observed in these relationships, sex friends relationships tended to have less violence and aggression than continuous romantic relationships. The research team explains that because sex friends relationships do not involve the formal commitments of romantic relationships and are easier to end, perpetrators may be less likely to wield power or continue to control their partners.

◆Disadvantage 1: High risk of sexual health problems
When comparing the frequency of condom use, the number of sexual partners, the presence of sexually transmitted infections, and the use of drugs and alcohol during sexual activity, the sexual health risks for people in casual sex relationships were higher than those in romantic relationships or those without partners, and roughly the same as those who engage in one-night stands. The research team attributes this to the fact that casual relationships tend to involve a larger total number of sexual partners, and people may have multiple casual sex relationships simultaneously.

◆Disadvantage 2: Slightly more mental health issues
When examining symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation, as well as feelings of happiness, satisfaction with one's body, loneliness, jealousy, and everyday stress, people in sex friend relationships reported slightly more mental health problems than those in romantic relationships or those without partners. Compared to people who engage in one-night stands, those in sex friend relationships reported more problems with loneliness, jealousy, and everyday stress, but no difference was found in anxiety, depression, or suicidal ideation.

Many of the studies analyzed examined participants at a single point in time, and therefore cannot definitively conclude that friends-with-benefits relationships worsened mental health. It is possible that people who already suffer from anxiety, depression, or low self-esteem are more likely to choose friends-with-benefits relationships. Furthermore, since most of the participants in the analysis were young, white, heterosexual, cisgender college students, the same trends may not apply to people of different ages, cultural backgrounds, sexual orientations, or gender identities.

The research team states that future challenges include standardizing measurement methods that vary from study to study, and gathering information from both parties in a sex friend relationship, not just one, to investigate in detail how friendship, sexual intimacy, and mental and physical health are related.