What are the '7 Tips' to help you when you are not satisfied with yourself?

Many people at school or at work feel that everyone around them is better than themselves, or that they have a complex situation in which their physical shape and appearance are different from their ideals. Duke University psychologist

Jade Wu explains '7 Tips' to help you when you are not satisfied with your life.

7 Simple Tips to Help You Stop Feeling Inadequate | Savvy Psychologist

◆1: Understand that everyone is not perfect and has worries
Neither the classmates who say 'this test was so good' at school, or the friends who post a lot of fun and fashionable photos on Instagram and get a lot of 'likes' are not perfect Wu pointed out. People who show off their own achievements do not know if they have the desire to be affirmed by someone, or if they want to perceive themselves to be superior to others, but they are happy with themselves. It can be said that there is no.

Having the anxiety that you cannot be satisfied with yourself is, to some extent, essential. Dissatisfaction with oneself can motivate oneself to grow and change by omitting one's actions and thinking about what was wrong. Wu said that feeling uneasy about one's behavior and life can often help maintain a good relationship with others, so people who aren't worried may have problems. States.

◆ 2: Add 'still' to the dissatisfaction score
When you feel dissatisfied with things like 'I can't do what I want' or 'I couldn't achieve my goals,' I think that I can't get out of there or think that I can grow further. To move from the idea that 'I can not improve my dissatisfaction' to the idea that 'it can be changed by effort, patience, and strategy,' Wu advises adding 'not yet' to his dissatisfaction doing.

When thinking about your life, instead of labeling it as 'I couldn't get the ideal job' as a failure, think 'I'm not yet in the ideal job' You may find a hint to change. Wu argued that there is a big difference between those who give up saying 'the dealt cards were bad' and those who believe they can improve their lives.

◆3: Replace “but” with “and”
Wu also proposes to replace 'but' with 'and' as a word for people who are not satisfied with themselves to switch their thoughts. By using 'and' to hold a neutral position before using the word 'but' to take a negative position, the situation can be seen more calmly.

For example, if a health-conscious person thinks, 'I'm eating a nutritious diet, but I also need to start exercising,' Wu said, 'I'm eating a nutritious diet. And you need to start exercising,' he said. Replacing the place where you feel like denying the former stage by using ``but'' with ``and'' and recognizing your efforts and achievements that come in the first stage, you have the motivation to accomplish the goal that you have not yet achieved Will be born.

◆ 4: Widen the field of view
People often think that 'financial success,' 'fame,' 'achieving a career,' 'strong relationship with the opposite sex,' and 'attractive appearance' are important for life. However, the life of choosing one of these factors, focusing only on the effort to achieve it, and frustrated if the goal is not achieved is cramped.

Mr. Wu says that 'important things for life' that are accepted by the world are only one aspect, 'living in good faith,' 'filling curiosity,' 'being obedient to my inspiration,' 'beautiful things.' He pointed out that 'seeing the truth', 'telling only the truth', and 'valuing connections with family and friends' are sufficiently good elements of life. Of course, if what is generally touted is important to me, it is okay to pursue it, but it is also important to keep a broad perspective without being overwhelmed by the trends of the world.

◆5: Do not depend on someone's opinion for self-evaluation
A person who sets his own value based on someone's evaluation can not acquire his own value and dignity unless he meets the 'standard set by someone other than himself', and as a result, self-esteem is fragile. .. A 2017 study also found that people with health problems tended to leave their self-esteem to others, and Wu advises that self-esteem should not be left to others.

◆6: Stop 'the best me'
When you see people who live elegant lives on the Internet, it is easy to think that you want to always be the best you can be. But 'you don't have to be on stage to be the best you can be,' Wu said, saying he should accept who he is. Even if there are days when hair is disturbed, days when I can not get into work, moments when conversations do not go well, and when I am stuck in human relationships, it is not necessary to lower my self evaluation.

◆7: Realize that being perfect is boring
When you see the life of a person who looks 'perfect,' you might wonder how inadequate your life is, but Wu points out that the life of a person without a minute is boring. .. A perfect life is stuffy, and a perfect, non-improvable life will not make a difference. Instead, it is better to continue to improve in order to pursue dreams that are 'still' unfulfilled, Wu said.

in Note, Posted by log1h_ik