What is the dark side of 'a close person who sympathizes with me'?


Enrique Meseguer

When you have a quarrel or quarrel with someone at work or school, many people have consulted with a close person such as a partner or family. It is encouraging that a trusted counselor shows sympathy and accompanies him, but it has been pointed out that such reactions have negative aspects.

The dark side of supportive relationships

A research group of Mr. Edward Rumey et al. Who studies psychology at the University of Maryland in the United States scrutinized seven documents and experimental results that discussed `` human relations when people confide conflicts with close friends '' We examined the effects of the reaction of a close confidant on subsequent relationships.

A cross-sectional review found that 'sympathetic and caring partners are more likely to accuse the' enemy 'of opposition to the counselor and to agree with the' enemy '. As a result, people who have a partner who shows sympathy are more likely to feel happier than those who have a partner who instructs them to stay calm and has the shoulders of 'enemy' I understood that.

Rumei and colleagues have also found that partner reactions can have a significant impact on counselor relationships. For example, after consulting a partner with a partner, 19% of respondents would avoid a relationship with an 'enemy' if they did not show empathy, compared to 56% if they did. And there was a big difference.

'This means that those who have an empathetic partner will consider the opponent an immoral villain and will not be interested in reconciliation, which not only exacerbates the conflict, In the worst case, it can break relationships. '


Vera Arsic

It has also been shown that empathy from partners can increase human hostility. In response to a questionnaire on relationships, 6% of respondents who said they would like to hurt 'the enemy and make them miserable' were 20% if they did not show empathy, but 20% if they did. %. In addition, those who answered 'Ignore the existence of the' enemy '' were up to 41% without empathy, compared to 15% without partner sympathy.

'The reaction that is emotionally satisfying hinders people from resolving conflicts, which escalates feelings of anger and hatred, and that as time goes on, Rumay says of these results. I will do it. '

Furthermore, if someone confided about the conflict, `` It may be necessary at first to show empathy and emit emotions, but if you want to support a close person in the long run, And give objective advice from a different perspective than the parties involved. Truth hurts people, but sometimes a partner who can be harsh is sometimes important. '

by Free-Photos

in Note, Posted by log1l_ks