Why is it difficult to make friends when becoming an adult?

The Wall Street JournalElizabeth Bernstein points out the importance of friends in life, citing examples of scientific research on "friends". At the same time, I am thinking about the difficulty of making friends and their causes after becoming an adult.

The Science of Making Friends - WSJ
http://www.wsj.com/articles/the-science-of-making-friends-1460992572

In recent years, it has been pointed out that the relationship with friends greatly affects the quality of life. In addition, the term "friends" as used here means not to mention acquaintances / friends who turn on Facebook on Facebook or to retweet them on Twitter, but share a fun time in real life It refers to a close friend who can reveal trouble.

I knew that people who have friends who have been tied up with strong bonds are healthier and more likely to live longer, but nurturing friendship can lower blood pressure, reduce stress and reduce the risk of depression I heard that he knows.


Also, in a study published at the psychology society in the UK in February 2016, when we conducted a questionnaire survey from 15,000 people, we feel happier as a person with close friends and more intimate social connections It was understood that it was. The importance of relationship with friends is reconsidered not only on the physical side but also in the mental aspect.

It is a friend who keeps health and gives a feeling of happiness, but it is common that gradually the number gradually decreases as it graduates from school. In addition to graduation, as I go through events of life such as marriage, divorce, change of career, socializing with a friend naturally is lost alone and one person. Professor Eileen Levine of New York University School of Medicine said that "People are always losing their friends." Professor Levine explains why people grow up in their respective directions and that the cause is that commonalities with others are reduced according to their growth.

It is a friend who loses not a few extra adults, but ironically it is hard to make new friends over time. I do not need the difficult reasons for a child to get acquainted with children I do not know in the park, play with me, and become friends. However, such things are almost impossible when becoming an adult. The school space is a place for cultivating friends who provide a steady routine that slowly and intimately brings forth intimacy, there are few places to find other people who do similar interests and feelings when they become adults Those who lose the time margin to put oneself on the spot. Friends who are easy to lose are also present at the same time, so it is natural that the numbers will inevitably decrease rapidly.

ByAhsan Saeed

When overcoming such reality, trying to make friends after becoming an adult, it is said that psychological difficulties will arise first. Professor Levine said: "When you try to make friends after becoming an adult, the first thing you must be conscious about is" disadvantage is that few friends "or" dishonorable fact " It is said. If it is good to have a lot of friends, it seems to be obsessed with obsessive obsession from the guilt feeling that there are few friends that there are few friends with the opposite.

However, according to Levine, there are no friends who have no friends at all, and it is said that women have many misunderstandings that this "no friend" is. In most cases, he seems to merely envision and pursue an ideal friend relationship too.

On the other hand, women tend to feel comfortable by connecting with other people, while men are not so, it is pointed out that it is difficult to make friends from men becoming adults, compared to women. Professor Geoffrey Grief of the University of Maryland says, "In men, there is concern that approaching a man who may be friends is misunderstood as homosexual by others, men do not want to get hurt," I mentioned one reason that men do not make friends easily after becoming an adult.

Considering that it is difficult to make friends since becoming an adult, it is probably easiest to make friends from school days as much as possible, and maintain good relationships even after becoming an adult.

ByNational Park Service

Incidentally, the above-mentioned English psychology society announced, "The happiness degree is higher as there are close friends" has a big exception, it is said that it is a person with a high intelligence quotient. People with high intelligence quotient know that it is hard to get satisfaction by spending time with close friends. Psychologists are planning to elucidate in the long term about why it is easy to lose the advantage of having friends when the IQ is high.